• Marie Bateson

This Ain't No Cabana

Updated: Jan 14, 2021

I love mocking the more ridiculous elements of interior design. Unfortunately, there is so very little I could find to mock about this home. It's GORGEOUS.

If I could move in there today, I would. And not just because it's perched above the sea on the Mexican coast where you can watch whales swim by while sipping on margaritas. If that's not the definition of heaven, I don't know what is.

Without further ado, here's today's house tour, courtesy of AD100 designer Martyn Lawrence Bullard:

Click Here For The Home Tour Of A Mexican Hideaway By Martyn Lawrence Bullard

(make sure to go through both slideshows within the article so you don't miss any of the rooms!)

I actually dithered for a moment about whether or not to include this home tour in The Critic's Corner because there was so little I could find fault with. But who am I to deny anyone the pleasure of ogling this house?! Also, maybe Martyn and I just have terrible taste and the rest of you will find this atrocious. Crazier things have happened.

But I refuse to believe that. I mean, just look at room number 1.

I'm usually a little sceptical about crediting the interior designer too much when the house has views like this one. All they have to do is not distract from the absolutely insane sea views and let all that stunning blue handicraft by Mother Nature do the work for them.

However, this room manages to perfectly complement the sea views but also stands by itself as a total flipping work of art. Those custom sofas! That enormous ripple effect carpet! The daring wooden ceiling! Equally impressive is the fact that they managed to find outdoor furniture that doesn't distract from the view - those sea foam swinging day beds are beautiful. I would change nothing about this room. Sigh.

Can you imagine if by some chance this was your Airbnb holiday pad and you hadn't seen any photos of it before arriving? I'd be running around from room to room like a schoolgirl cracked out on Sherbet Dip just squealing with delight. Whoever lives here, if you ever need someone to house-sit, call me.

Fire pits might be one of my favourite elements of an evening outdoors. The ceiling art is a beautiful way to add some flair and character to a calmly neutral outdoor area. This area of the house, shockingly enough, also gets my seal of approval.

Well, I'm not a fan of this, but I respect what he's doing with the colours in terms of Mexican heritage. I love the humongous tassle-y wall art above the bed but I'm not a fan of the mirrored wardrobes, nor the green bed frame. I mean, I'd still house sit for the owners (call me!) but this room is not my favourite.

I love that drapey chandelier thingy. (That's the technical term, right?) and I don't hate the marble island but not particularly enamoured of it either. The floral arrangements are wonderful though.

Ooh, now this is a dramatic bathroom, isn't it?! The shower walls are pretty fabulous but I am genuinely confused about the divan. Surely it gets soaked every time someone takes a shower? I love the standalone tub but not the chrome standalone faucet. The little wooden stool is adorable though.

So this is another view of the kitchen. I suppose they moved the dining furniture out of the way when they took the previous pic as it made it look like the chandelier was hanging above the marble kitchen island whereas it's clearly not. I love a round dining table - far easier to have a conversation with everyone seated than at a rectangular table.

I much prefer this bedroom. I love the mustard yellow and the bed frame is far easier on the eye than the green one in the other bedroom. The drapes are a bit blah, though.

Well, this might be the most fun bathroom I've seen in a long time. Frigging delightful.

So much light! So much space! The staircase is so very cool with those irregular steps and the chandelier is a great choice as it's huge but still feels light and airy. Did I mention I want to live here?

There is so much house here that I can't even guess which area of it this seating nook belongs to, but that leather hanging chair is ridiculously cool, and such a rich warm colour.

I don't like this. I don't like the marble and I really don't like the wallpaper. It looks like someone tore out the pages of an ancient Mexican history book and decoupaged them to the wall.

Whenever we went on holiday as kids, my siblings and I would always do a mad dash around the holiday rental upon arrival to try and claim the best room. If this were our rental, I'd make a beeline for this room and defend my territory to the death. It feels like a luxury hotel room.

Well, this is just very Hollywood celebrity, isn't it? A cinema room complete with tiered seating. Not sure about the walls, but love the sofas.

That giant sculpture is bloody awesome. That's all I have to say about that.

This may be one of my favourite areas of the house - a real BAR in your home! Now if only it came with a cocktail whiz of a bartender...

This is probably the best kid's room I've ever seen. I love the colour combo with the bright white built-ins and that striped ceiling is fantastic. My only thing is that these beds would be a pain in the ass to change the sheets on but these owners can clearly afford someone to make the beds for them.

The white cactus on the walls - what a genius idea to add texture to that enormous wall.

Is anyone else sad that this home tour is coming to an end? Only two more areas to go... I love the shape of the sofa in this little area, and the legs of the coffee table, but seating stools such as these two here are a pet peeve of mine. I get that they provide light, flexible seating, but THEY SUCK. They are so flipping uncomfortable! Nobody wants to be perched on a shitty little stool while other guests are lounging comfortably on the sofas. I'd honestly prefer it if there were a pile of folding deck chairs in the corner that you could just grab when you needed an extra seat. Not so stylish, but far more comfortable.

This isn't really much in terms of interior design, but it's such a jaw-dropping little spot that it has to be included. Yeah, yeah, good job with the chairs, like anyone is looking at those.

I love that this gorgeous place manages to marry Mexican heritage and tradition with a modern aesthetic. But the interior design is almost secondary here. This house has such a spectacular location and then when you throw in fun features such as a cinema room, bar, fire pit, and a slide into the pool, it's just game over, isn't it?

But perhaps you disagree... What do you think of this house? Sublime or needs to be swallowed by a sinkhole? Leave a comment below!

And, as always, if you'd like to be notified whenever I have a 'room reveal' ready with before and after photos from our current project, sign up to my mailing list.

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