• Marie Bateson

Bog Standard

Out of all the names for the bathroom, bog has to be the least appealing. But also, completely appropriate. This is, after all, the least 'sexy' room in the house, the hallowed hall of sanitation, where humans go to relieve themselves and wash off the detritus of the day (or night...). Its function is pretty gross.

However, that doesn't mean it has to look gross. Bathrooms can be bloody gorgeous, even if they serve a rather revolting purpose. It's also one of those rooms that if you don't get it exactly right, it can annoy you every single day, every time you use it. Out of all the rooms in the house, the master bath is the one I want to design perfectly.

When you get it wrong, it can haunt you. A friend here in Valencia chose a marble toilet when renovating her apartment because it looked stylish. However, come winter time, she loathes sitting on the loo first thing in the morning because it is ice cold. What an awful way to start the day.

Also, I've never really understood the glass shower door or shower curtain. As far as glass - why do I need to see out or anyone see in while I'm showering? The glass always looks perpetually smeary and steamy and never seems to shut quite right, always leaving a little trickle of a leak from the 'seal'.

And then shower curtains... where to start with those abominations?! We've all had the ones that cling to your legs like a desperate ex-lover refusing to part ways. Or those that really needed to be changed about, ooh, 3 months earlier, and are now fostering a little orphan family of mould babies.

I'm very, very keen on a walk-in, doorless shower. I can't find many great photos of those on Pinterest, but I'm sure they exist. I have this one pinned on my board just as an example, but I don't really like anything about it other than the window and the fact that it has no curtain or glass.

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Another vital component - built in shower shelves. I don't understand showers that are built with nowhere to put your products. The stupid racks that hang from the shower head or just piling them on the floor are awful solutions. I want a shower shelf that's the right height for my giant of a husband, and one that's perfectly eye-level for normal-sized me.

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Speaking of my husband, he's an absolute product-junkie. This could be because he works with a cosmetics company. Our bathroom must have piles of storage because apparently he needs ALL of his products on a daily basis. I can't stand having beauty products piled around the sink - I just want them all hidden out of view in shallow shelves behind an enormous mirror. I'd also very much like a divider between our sinks so that when his mountains of products spill out from those shelves, I don't have to see them.

Most importantly, the toilet should be in its own separate little room. There's a reason it's called the water closet - that business should be closeted away. I don't want to have to delay taking a shower or brushing my teeth because someone spent far too long on the toilet dealing with last night's Indian meal.

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I am on the fence about a bathtub. I never take baths, but I feel as though if we didn't have one, I might, once in a blue moon, regret the decision. But they take up so much room... Maybe I'll leave that decision up to the very tall husband who is even less likely to take a bath than me, but perhaps he'll decide we need an extra-long tub. I wouldn't say no to one like this.

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Everything else is just details. Glorious, glorious details like this beautiful sink or that lovely tile. Sigh. That's going to be the fun part. For more bathroom ideas, check out my Pinterest board.

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