We'll Always Have Paris
The first entry into The Critic's Corner is Lorenzo Castillo's Parisian apartment. Lorenzo is an interior designer from Spain, and one of the most in-demand designers in Europe. I think he can handle it if we gently shred some of his work.
The home tour is courtesy of Elle Decor and is written by none other than Carolina Herrera. This is a rarefied world of design that we're entering - steel yourself.
Well, what did you think?! Let's start with the salon...
HOLY MOLY. Lorenzo's not shy about using colour, is he?! As someone with zero design experience, I am wholly unqualified to critique his interior design skills. But being wholly unqualified didn't stop Donald Trump so... here goes.
I actually quite like the overall effect. I mean, I wouldn't want to live there but it doesn't make me recoil in horror. If this apartment were a person, it would be a French maid who won the lottery. Everything's a bit boudoir-y, isn't it?
To say this room is a bit 'busy' is the understatement of the century. And yet all those colours weirdly work. However, if I were going to change some things out to make it a bit more liveable and less like the bar of a Montmartre hotel, it would be the following:
The double stripey-ness of those yellow chairs on the carpet
The grey and beige panelling
The granite tree stump coffee table
So not that much, to be fair. My changes would be along the lines of that piece of advice Coco Chanel once gave:
When accessorising, always take off the last thing you put on.
Just tone it down a bit, Lorenzo, mmmkay?
Moving on to the dining room...
Ooh, I kind of love it. The panelling and the carpet that were too much for me in the salon work beautifully in this room. I love that the chairs are a bit loco, but I can't tell if the seats are padded or not. Please let them be padded. Nothing deters lingering after dinner more than an uncomfortable chair.
Conversely, the yellow banquette on the opposite side of the table is wonderful. I love a banquette at dinner because the physical proximity with your dinner mates tends to make the conversation more intimate as well.
That massive chandelier is gorgeous in its size, but the way it reflects in the mirror makes it look like it's got a ton of matte black toadstools sprouting from it. Perhaps that's just the angle of the photo, though, so I won't tear it down just yet.
Oh, yes. This is fabulous. It's opulent and in your face in the best kind of way. The blue is lush but when paired with that mermaid green, it's quite jaw-dropping. The braided floor would be a stand-out feature in any other house, but here it actually looks quite tame.
Ugh. I am not a fan of the burnt orange sofa - it makes me think too much of the shag carpets of the seventies. The chandelier does nothing to dissuade me from that opinion. The angry panda bear is both tacky and terrifying (and I'm sure enormously expensive).
I could deal with the monkey print on the chair, but the walls and carpet make me feel like I'm in a padded cell. And the poof? It looks like it's upholstered in that cheap psuedo-velvet fabric you see everywhere these days. No, thank you.
Meh. This all of a sudden got very Mid-Western America, didn't it? The dark green cabinets are bolder than your average, but other than that, I could absolutely see the kitchen in a suburb in Ohio. It does nothing for me.
What do you think? Sublime or needs to disappear into a sinkhole? Leave a comment below!
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